| Current location: | Home Office, AZ |
| Current mood: |  enraged |
| Current music: | Only the screaming in my head |
Trying to Figure It All Out
Sorry for my absence. Believe me, its not just from my "live journal." After some thought, it appears to be from parts of life. Intentionally the "work" parts of life, but unintentionally from the other parts too. For some reason I've been trying to get back into the frame of mind that I used to be in school. (college that is) I was always busy, and THIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn it! There's that word again. I was so upset about the word today, that I threw away a brand new box of Famous Amous chocolate chip pecan cookies. Well, a half of a box. And NO, I did not eat the other half all today. Part yesterday, and part today. Hence, the fact that they are in the trash can as I type. I had an artichoke for lunch. It was pretty good, and appeared to double as an appetite suppressant.
The Tempe art and music festival is tomorrow. I'm going to go scope it out with every intention of working towards being a participant next year ...............................................
Wow. Spaced out for a minute there. I'm bored with things. I want fame and retirement all at the same time. Yah. That's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one. I need to get people interested in my artwork. That is what I really want to do. Screw the bullshit. Sick of the bullshit! Oh, you need this on Monday, and your calling me at 6pm on Friday evening BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmmmm...... I detect a bit of hostility in your voice, you say. Yes. Yes, you do. That would be putting it mildly.
You know what really annoys me? Well, I'll tell you. It really annoys me when I send pictures of new work to someone, and they can't find time to look at it. Oh! But when they have a problem, or their world appears to be crashing down around them, they find time to call me, and not let me get a word in. Its always all about them. And its never good. Its always a crisis. Its always BULLSHIT! Whoops. There goes that word again. Tired of it! I'm just not going to answer the phone when the "LIFE SUCKER" calls. Not that it will ever be clear why. It will just be, "Oh, Jo just wrote me off. What a Bitch!" Who cares. I guess that's my point. I need to stop caring. Or at least about this person. (And by the way, the person I'm talking about, just in case you were wondering, lives in DC) Stop worrying. And you should know better than to think I was talking about you any way. You always look at my new stuff. Even when it disturbs you.
Enough waisted time on that topic. Just needed to get it out. I don't really feel any better, but at least I said it.
Well, I'm officially an Aunt! Aunt Jo. Not sure how I really feel about it. My new nephew was only 6lbs 14oz, and he was 20" long. I don't know anything about babies, but apparently, that is small. I know why, but will keep it too myself. You know, the whole nothing nice to say thing. I couldn't get a read from my brother. He just sounded like he was in a daze. I'm sure he will be a great dad, considering he loves kids and all. I'm not sure how I can positively impact my nephew's life, but I'm hoping to find a way. The hard part is, I have two "step nephews." Not sure how to work that. Do I send presents to all three? Somehow that doesn't seem fare. (For me that is.) I don't know. I'll see what happens. I don't want anyone to feel left out.
La. La. La..... All out of patience. Oh. There I go changing the subject again. Seems to be a pattern this evening. MUST FIND A WAY TO GET OUT! Out of the dog and pony show that is my so called career. HATE IT! I guess when it comes down to it, I just haven't been pushed completely over the edge. BUT! I see it getting closer. You know the feeling you get at the top of the biggest hill on a roller coaster? You know, right before it plunges 80 feet at 60 miles per hour, and your stomach is in your throat? I'm almost to that point, which I need to say is somewhat dangerous. I mean come on! I just sat through four and a half hours of orientation at Subway! I must be loosing my mind. I do have to say that it seems like something better to do than get jerked in 20 different directions by people that all think they know what they want until someone else makes a "better" suggestion. Decision by committee. F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!Committee my Ass! More like, "Lets drive the person doing the work completely insane so we can be sure to get NOTHING done EVER!" I think I need medication. Or a drink. Or BOTH! Again, the reason for deciding to work at Subway. Nothing is decided by committee. It is what it is, and that's it. It's sandwiches. Do you want cheese, or don't you? Mayo, or Mustard? I can just stand there and smile at people, and not really have to give a SHIT about them, their problems, their deadlines, or anything else pertaining to their lives. Just if they want lettuce and tomato, and hot peppers. Oh, and even better, get paid to do this. Not enough to pay my mortgage of course.
I think I just need an IV hooked to my arm with a steady supply of Vodka running through it. Or maybe tequila. It would help the visions of violently beating things with a baseball bat go away. Or at least make it a plastic baseball bat versus a metal one with spikes.
Now that I've probably disturbed anyone that has read this. I think I will hit the pause button. It's just going to get worse and more disturbing if I keep writing. Hopefully I will wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow.
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jsquared_h) wrote,
